Weight Watchers and the Decline of the Loser Empire

Three words: Buffalo Wild Wings.

Week # Whatever

I know what you're thinking: she hasn't posted in a while because she's abandoned the Weight Watchers program and returned to her old, slovenly ways. So what if that's true? Which, frankly, some days it is, and some days it ain't. I'm coming off an "it is" weekend, but prior to that, I was doing okay--if you don't count the small bag of peanut M&Ms I fell prey to at work the other day, or the McChicken meal I had as a way to jumpstart my weekend. Because, unlike some other people I know, I'm human. The Saint up there in the northern climes dashes off little messages of encouragement each day, as her scale continues to go down. "Hope you ladies are being good" and "remember, this sweatshirt weather won't be here forever" and "we're going to have to show some skin." To make matters worse, she's already met her weight loss goal for February and we're only halfway through the month. Well, whoop dee do. And while The Saint munches celery sticks on her treadmill, the other Human (aka the Niece) took off for warmer weather down south with a friend. Last few posts I saw from her talked about doing lemon drop shots and knocking back some southern moonshine. Hang on, Brit, I'll be right down!

Week#2: Continued...

I ate, I drank, I shoveled. And I did yoga. (You try looking up at the ceiling after you've stretched your torso down over your extended legs. Unless you're that girl from The Exorcist, I doubt it can be done.) Frankly I don't know how many points I consumed today because my pen ran out of ink and I couldn't write anything down... The girls up north, however, now that's a different story. They put away gallons of water and stayed under their points, and they're both watching their scales go down. The Saint did acknowledge, however, giving in to her craving and eating "a few pieces of candy." Which I'm craving mightily myself. But I indulged my sweet tooth with a few Ginger Snaps today. No wonder they're so low in points. I nearly took out a crown and the two fillings beside it.

Into Week #2: All About Water

This was today's lunch. And this is getting old. Two weeks without McDonalds, peanut M&Ms, and those chocolate chip cookies from the Stop n'Shop bakery... We're expecting yet another snowstorm, and already the local schools have announced their closings for tomorrow. I should be sitting with my feet up, knocking back the Franzia Chardonnay. Instead I got a date with my Pilates mat and the lovely Ana Caban. After that, The Saint says I have to drink water. I hate water. If I'm not pounding the Franzia, then give me a Diet Coke. Water is for doing the dishes and filling up the tub. But The Saint's on her high horse about my water consumption and telling me that she didn't ask if I liked it (oh how uppity they get when they're down 6.8lbs), but that I need to go buy a case of the stuff. A case? I haven't had that much water in the 39 years that I've been on this earth. (*wink*) And oh, the messages from the two of them today. If there was a prize for how many times they used the word water, they'd have hit the jackpot. (Total points for today: I'm swimming in them.)

The End of Week 1

It's official: Brit and I have broken away from the Church of The Amazing Loser. The Saint (aka Eileen) finished up her first week with a 6.8lb loss. Adding salt to the wound, she said that she "needs to start exercising." At this rate, she's going to reach her weight loss goal by mid-week. The Saint's a bitch, plain and simple. Meanwhile I'm on the Pilates mat just about every night, and many mornings I hoof it around the lake near my house. Before you scoff at my morning walk, you might want to take into consideration that I live at the top of the "Grinch Who Stole Christmas" hill. (Think I'm kidding? Come visit sometime.) So today was the day of reckoning, and I stripped down to my birthday suit to give myself every advantage (being careful to avoid any contact with a mirror), and I stepped on the Healthometer. Total weight loss? 1.1 lbs. That's the thanks I get for a week's worth of 4 point WW meals, celery sticks, and popcorn till it comes out my ears. Brit brought up the rear by .01, logging in a 1 lb weight loss. But she's my kind of girl. To boost start next week's loss, she's switching from Bud Light to vodka when she hits the town tonight. Like auntie, like niece. Love you, girl. Remember, Brit, slow and steady wins the race. Enjoy your night and have one for me.

Day #7

You win some, and you lose some. Today I'm a winner. See that picture above? That was my dinner--and I never even ate the orange. My motivation? A glass of wine after a 12 hour work day. And don't get all self righteous with me about scrimping on points so I can knock back a glass of wine after work. (Okay, two glasses.) If you haven't figured out by now, I live life large: I'm talking the 12oz bag of peanut M&Ms, the McChicken meal, the Franzia Chardonnay. (All of which likely got me in this mess in the first place, but hey.) So, I'm trading in the Healthometer for the scale that Eileen bought. Every day, her's goes down. She sends me messages that read "Down 1.4", "Did well, another 1.8," "I'm on a roll" and "I'm making wiser choices for dinner so as not to go over my points." WTF. Let's nominate her for WW Sainthood. On the other hand, my niece is more like me. Her messages read "gained a lb and felt bloated all day" and "didn't drink much water." (Read: I went to happy hour and drank a bunch of Bud Lights with my friends.) Love you, Brit; I always have.

Day #6

Let us never speak of Day #6 again. (Total points=26)